Kate Moss Fans

It’s sort of an adorable story that goes something like this: Kate Moss gets in her car after a night of hard clubbing and sits on a fan who had been waiting for an introduction. Oh wait did we say adorable? What was actually meant was “ripped-directly-from-a-bad-horror-movie-creepy.”

Madonna Fans

Graffiti, an ice pick, an SVU. What do all these things have in common? If not the film Basic Instinct, then surely Madonna. Such were the instruments of terror a fan used to convey his appreciation for Madonna’s music last September, when he parked outside her New York apartment spray-painting messages of love on street signs and begging her to be with him. It’s a tempting offer, but considering the fact that (brace yourself to feel old) Madonna’s pushing mid-50s he might want to invest in a younger pop star. I hear Rebecca Black is single and might turn 18 this decade.

Rebecca Black Fans

Rebecca Black has spawned, apart from other things, the strangest fan of all: Lady Gaga. In a bizarre PR move worthy of Charlie Sheen, Gaga defended Black’s beleaguered music video attempt ‘Friday’ as a work of art — and Black herself as a genius to be reckoned with. While this seems pretty unbelievable for a song that involves such profound existential questions like what seat to choose in your friend’s car, let’s keep in mind that 80% of Lady Gaga’s lyrics consist of repeating nonsense words that rhyme with “Gaga”.

Nicki Minaj Fans

From the onset of her career, Nicki Minaj has inspired odd behavior in her fans — but none as odd as a certain die-hard who recently got a gigantic tattoo of her face on his calf. First off, let’s be honest. Her face is not the most recognizable part of Nicki Minaj. Second, a calf tattoo pales in comparison to this fan, who tattooed “Nicki Minaj” on his hands, ensuring that he can never go to another job interview without looking like a serial killer or a hypochondriac. Or something so much worse: a Nicki Minaj fan.

Lady Gaga Fans

The problem with exalting one’s fans to ‘freak’ status is that, after awhile, some begin to wear the title with a bit too much pride. While there’s a fine line between “Lady Gaga Conversation” and “Lady Gaga Conversation Killers” the phrase “I totally murdered my cat and bathed in its blood” falls pretty solidly in the “Crazy at Any Time” category. While we’re mincing words it is a pretty fair observation that the only thing separating this fan from Lady Gaga is how long the animal was dead before they decided to wear its entrails.

Lil’ Wayne Fans

No one can say that Lil’ Wayne isn’t a good role model. The deathless appeal of the man not only attracts an interesting fanbase (Paris Hilton?) but inspires in his fans more innovation in their madcap approaches to meet him than most. It wasn’t a normal stage-crash incident but a brilliant coup when in February, a Weezy fan crashed and robbed the star on the set of a music video while posing as a back-up dancer, only in hopes of returning the stolen goods to Wayne in prison person.

Chris Brown Fans

Once upon a time, Chris Brown had a following made up of girls who would have jumped barricades to be with him. Now he has to make due with girls who will shave his album title into the back of their head. But perhaps the craziest fans are the thousands who lined up to defend him against the pretty clear cut domestic violence charges he faced — toting such time-honored phrases from the 19th century like “She provoked him”, “I’ll bet Rhianna was the one who hit him first”, and perhaps most hilarious/depressing for humanity in general: “GIVE THE KID A BREAK IT’S HIS FIRST TIME IN HIS FOUR YEAR CAREER!”